Nicola's Story: Realising a Dream

“I was supported by Step by Step when I became homeless 15 years ago. Today, I am happily married, a proud parent and content in life. If it wasn’t for Step by Step, I don’t know what path I would have taken.

“I grew up in a very toxic home environment. Both my parents had substance and alcohol dependencies and there was a lot of turmoil. I remember my Dad would shut himself away for two days when he was on a binge. You think that the people who are going to protect you and help you move forward into adulthood will be your parents, but that’s not the case for everyone.

“When I was 17, I decided I couldn’t take it any longer and had to leave. I was quite independent, went to college and had a job, and I could see that my home life was toxic and wrong. I left home with all my possessions in three black bin bags and ended up sleeping on my boyfriend’s floor. I couldn’t afford to get a place of my own, and I wasn’t old enough to sign a tenancy agreement anyway.

“Having nothing and feeling like you don’t have anything to offer is really degrading and you lose a lot of confidence and self-worth. I felt uneasy all the time. I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere and there didn’t seem to be any options. But I contacted the council and they put me in touch with Step by Step.

“I went to live with a host, Justine, in her own home as part of the charity’s Supported Lodgings service. Justine had been a host with Step by Step for many years and was thinking of giving it up before I came along.

“Justine and Step by Step helped me to feel safe. I could continue with work and college, which I thought I was going to have to give up when I was homeless. I found my confidence again and could focus on making a future for myself.

“Now, years later, I have a good job and my own home. That boyfriend whose floor I slept on, stuck with me the whole time and is now my husband. I have a family of my own – everything I could have dreamed of.

“I still struggle to understand why my parents were not there for me in the way I needed. Sadly, my father has since passed away due to his substance abuse. I missed out on my childhood because of my parents’ issues; the traumas they had never been able to get over.

“Looking back, Step by Step helped me to keep in work, keep in college and keep seeing my boyfriend.

“To young people going through something similar to me, I would say: believe in yourself. You are valued and you are worthy. Right now it feels overwhelming, you are scared and you don’t know where to turn, but just keep getting up and trying.

“You will look back at this time in years to come and see it was such a small time in your life overall.”