Host and Carer Stories
When Ella and Richard Canning first considered opening their home to a young person in need, they weren’t entirely sure what to expect. What began as a simple desire to help has since evolved into something much more meaningful. The couple have now welcomed several young people into their home through Step by Step’s Supported Lodgings programme—many of them asylum seekers—and continue to speak warmly about the experience.
“It enhances your life. Absolutely."
The decision to host came from a shared desire to do something useful with the space in their home, and to make a tangible difference in the lives of young people who needed safety and support.
"One day, we sat down to have a conversation; what can we do to help young people?"
"In this case, it was all over the news about asylum seekers and how difficult was for them to find families who were willing to host."
"And we were living in a large house, so we decided as we had two rooms and a bathroom upstairs that nobody was using, it was a good idea."
Richard and Ella both emphasise that hosting doesn’t come with a one-size-fits-all rulebook. It’s about finding the right balance and adapting to each individual young person.
"I think it can involve as much or as little as you want. We've learned from experience, I suppose that some things you need to do, you need to set boundaries, you need to be very clear about how things in the house work."
"But you don't need to be too prescriptive clearly, and it depends on the person you have with you," Richard explains.
"Each person that we have been able to share the house with is different and you get to understand that even when they come from the same country, they are different as human being."
"They come from different experiences. So it takes time to get used to them and for them to get used to us," Ella adds.
Ella recalls the very first young person who came to stay with them—a placement that left a lasting impression.
"The first person that came to live with us, for some reason, we just got along fine. He is a very sweet human being, very respectful."
"We were able to, even with the language barrier, get to know his family and to see his family through the phone and say hi to them."
"We were there when he had sad and difficult moments, and there were quite a few, but we were there to celebrate when he was able to achieve something."
"We still have a relationship with him today."
For Richard, one of the biggest surprises has been just how personal and rewarding the experience has become.
"The highlights for me have been actually the relationships that you were able to have with these young people, which was a surprise to me."
"I thought it wouldn't be very personal. As Ella says, we still know several of them. We still talk to them now and again."
Step by Step has been there for Ella and Richard from the beginning, offering consistent guidance and reassurance when placements have been challenging.
"We've definitely had to learn through the organisation and we have been supported."
"We have met quite a few people, but one person that has been with us is Julia. She's been with us from the very beginning and we always bounce to her for one reason or another."
"Jane has been there for us as well, supporting us, answering questions and when the placement is not working. They have been there to say 'Don't worry, we'll find somebody else'."
"So they've been there from day one."
When asked what they would say to others who are thinking about becoming hosts, both Ella and Richard encourage taking the leap.
"I would say, do it. I don't think it's possible to advise on an individual basis. I think if you feel the urge and you see the need, just do it," Richard says simply.
"Yes, you're not only sharing part of your house with this young person. You will share your life and your experience."
"And my hope is that once they spend time with us, whether they are here in an emergency bed for a week or two, whether they are here in long term, they always remember that they've been here first and what we have been able to provide."
"One thing that we have seen, regardless of moments of misunderstanding, is that they are grateful."
Ella is clear about one of the biggest misconceptions people have when it comes to young asylum seekers.
"Not every child or young asylum seeker that comes to this country has an agenda behind or plan B or anything."
"They just want to be here and enjoy exactly what we have in our everyday life: freedom, opportunities, something to eat, a roof over their head, and a family if you want to."
"The first person that we hosted still calls us Uncle and Aunty, and we never asked them to do that. That boy has so much respect for us."
Some people worry that hosting might restrict their freedom or independence. But for Ella, it’s been quite the opposite.
"One element that is important for me the moment that they come to live with us, is guiding them to become independent, to be self sufficient, to understand that they are in a safe environment."
"They are in a house. They can look after this house, share life with us and the little cat that is somewhere in the house."
"They become independent people, and there has been more than one occasion that we've had to travel. I have family abroad. Richard has a daughter that is on the other side of England."
"So we trust them, and we have helped them develop skills that they can be in the house by themselves."
"They become part of your life. But they don't stop you from doing whatever you want. I get up and go to church, I travel, I see my friends, I invite people here."
"It has not stopped me from doing what I have to do. As a matter of fact, when we start hosting, I was working part time, not even one day I missed going to work because I had a young person living with me, not at all. It enhances your life. Absolutely."
Step by Step’s Supported Lodgings has become the first service of its kind to achieve Ofsted accreditation. We are now the largest Supported Lodgings provider in the UK, as well as being considered the authority in the field.
