What Fostering Is Really Like Day to Day

Laura* has been fostering with Step by Step for less than a year, balancing family life, full time work, school runs, football weekends, difficult moments, and the ordinary routines that slowly help children feel safe. As part of Foster Care Fortnight and this year’s “This is Fostering” campaign, Laura wanted to share the reality of day to day life as a foster carer with Step by Step.

Most days as a foster carer start quite normally. Someone cannot find their school shoes. Someone refuses breakfast. Someone is tired because they woke up in the night after a bad dream. The cat is trying to steal toast off the kitchen side while everyone is rushing to get out of the door on time. That is one of the things Laura wishes more people understood about fostering.

For Laura, this is fostering. Not perfection or dramatic moments every day, but consistency, patience, laughter, routine, difficult conversations, and children slowly beginning to feel safe enough to relax into ordinary family life.

Yes, there are difficult moments. Yes, there is trauma and uncertainty and emotional pressure at times. But there is also ordinary family life.

There are school runs, bedtime routines, homework at the kitchen table, dancing in the living room, takeaway nights, football matches on cold Saturday mornings, and children learning how to feel safe enough to simply be themselves.

Laura is a single foster carer who works full time, mainly from home, while also raising her teenage daughter. Like many people considering fostering, she worried whether she was good enough, whether people would judge her, and whether fostering would change the relationship she had with her daughter.

Less than a year into fostering, she says the biggest thing she has learned is that children do not need their carers to be perfect. They need consistency, patience, boundaries, empathy, and adults who are willing to keep showing up for them.

Why Laura Decided to Foster

Fostering had always been something Laura wanted to do. Growing up, she watched her own mum open their home to friends who needed support. “My mum had the biggest heart and would always take in any of my friends if they were having problems with their families,” Laura explains. Her mum also fostered when Laura was younger, and over the years Laura saw other family members do the same.

Working with care leavers in her professional role also gave her a deeper understanding of how much difference stability and encouragement can make. “You hear their stories and what they have been through, and how they just needed someone to believe in them and a nurturing home.”

For Laura, the timing mattered too. She had spoken to her daughter about fostering years earlier but wanted to make sure the decision worked for them both. As her daughter became more independent, Laura realised this could finally be the right time.

Can You Foster if You Work Full Time or Are Single?

One of the biggest misconceptions Laura had before fostering was that you needed to fit a very specific mould. She worried she would be judged for being single, working full time, or renting. Like many prospective foster carers, she also worried about whether the process would feel intrusive or overwhelming.

Instead, Laura found the assessment process supportive and manageable. “The social workers at Step by Step are really not judgemental at all and genuinely want the best for you, so this makes you feel at ease.”

Laura completed much of the training online and found the Skills to Foster sessions particularly helpful. “The sessions were really interesting and useful in preparing you to have a foster child.” She also appreciated being able to complete the process at her own pace.

What Does a Typical Day as a Foster Carer Look Like?

Laura says one of the biggest misconceptions about fostering is that every day feels intense or dramatic. In reality, most days look very similar to family life in any other household. “Every day is different, like with your own children, which makes it interesting.”

Most mornings start at 7am. Everyone gets ready together downstairs before school. Breakfast is eaten, beds are made, bags are packed, and there is usually a rush to get out of the door on time. If there is time before school, the children might watch television for a little while before leaving.

After school, things slow down slightly. There are snacks, chats about the day, time to decompress, and usually a bit of television or tablet time before the evening routine begins.

Dinner is important in Laura’s house. “We all have dinner together and talk about our days.” Some evenings they play games together, do arts and crafts, dance around to Just Dance in the living room, or simply sit and spend time together.

Bedtime routines are consistent. Bath, teeth, reading, and quiet conversation have all become important parts of helping the child feel secure. Laura says some of the best conversations happen while sitting outside the bathroom door chatting during bath time.

Weekends are relaxed and family focused. Saturday mornings often begin early because Laura’s daughter plays football. Some weekends involve swimming, trampolining, cinema trips, parks, picnics, or seeing friends. Other weekends are quieter, with takeaway nights, games at home, and time to recharge before the school week starts again.

Laura says routine and consistency have made a huge difference. “It only took a few weeks to build a routine and structure, and they were already progressing so much.”

At the same time, she has worked hard to protect time with her own daughter too. “We always make sure that we have at least an hour together when the foster child goes to bed if we want to catch up and have some time for us.” She believes fostering has actually helped her daughter grow in confidence and independence as well.

Welcoming a Foster Child Into Your Home

Laura describes welcoming her foster child into the family as both exciting and scary. The child had already experienced several placements before arriving. “They had already had five placements before me, so they were in desperate need of stability.”

To help the child feel comfortable, Laura focused on small, thoughtful touches. Laura prepared arts and crafts activities, bought bath bombs, a teddy, a book, and created a keepsake box.

There were also introductory visits and a sleepover before the full placement began, helping everyone get to know each other. Laura spent time speaking to previous carers about routines, favourite foods, hobbies, interests, and behaviours.

Even with preparation, she says there was still a lot to learn. “Our foster child was so nervous when they came. They made out that they were fine, but it showed in other ways.” Over time, trust began to grow.

The Small Moments That Matter Most

For Laura, the most rewarding moments are often the smallest ones. “The biggest one was on my birthday when they wrote me a card and said thank you for making me feel safe.”

Since moving in, she has seen huge progress. Her foster child now sleeps through the night, eats balanced meals, enjoys reading, and has become more confident in making choices and expressing opinions. “They used to be a people pleaser and do anything for anyone and now they have a voice and will say what they want and don’t want.”

Laura has also loved being able to introduce new experiences. Theme parks, holidays, ice skating, paddleboarding, roller coasters, swimming trips, and family outings have all become part of everyday life; something Laura says has been made possible through the financial support and fostering allowance provided. Every few months, Laura creates a photo book of memories. “It is really special to be able to give someone so many new experiences.”

The Challenges People Don’t Always Talk About

Laura is honest that fostering can be emotionally tiring at times. Some days are hard. There are moments when trauma shows up in unexpected ways, when emotions feel big, or when a child pushes boundaries because they are still learning whether adults can really be trusted. “The hardest thing is dealing with contact, especially when the child is disclosing things.” Laura explains that children can become very emotionally unsettled before or after family contact.

There are also moments where behaviours improve for weeks and then suddenly return again. That can feel difficult when you care deeply and want to help. Hearing a child talk negatively about themselves or hearing details about what they have experienced can also stay with you long after the day has ended.

Laura says one of the biggest lessons she has learned is that fostering is not about fixing everything immediately. “I need to ask for help at times and not expect to fix everything straight away.”

She has also had to let go of the idea of trying to be perfect. Instead, Laura focuses on consistency. Showing up every day. Keeping routines steady. Staying calm after difficult moments. Creating a home where children know what to expect. “It is important that they are in a normal functioning home with day to day basic problems.”

What Support Really Looks Like

One of Laura’s biggest worries before fostering was whether she would feel alone once a child moved in. Like many people considering fostering, she had heard stories about carers struggling without enough help.

Her experience with Step by Step has been very different. “They were always there to answer any questions, reassure me, and made me feel that I am a really good candidate to do this.”

Laura says one of the most reassuring parts of fostering with Step by Step has been knowing there is always someone to turn to. Whether it is advice after a difficult day, support around contact arrangements, or simply needing reassurance, the team are available when needed.

Laura also found it helpful that the support did not stop once she was approved. From training and preparation through to day to day fostering, Step by Step continued checking in, offering guidance, and helping her build confidence as a foster carer.

For Laura, the biggest difference has been feeling supported without feeling judged. “There are no judgements, just encouragement and support.” That support has helped her focus on what matters most, creating a stable, loving home where a child can feel safe, build confidence, and simply be a child.

“You Are Good Enough”

Laura’s message to anyone thinking about fostering is simple. “Honestly, just do it. You are good enough.” She believes many people underestimate the difference a safe and caring home can make. “The basics in life we take for granted like safety and stability make a massive difference to a child.”

Fostering has changed life for Laura and her family in ways she never expected. “It is life changing. It gives you a purpose. It is really rewarding what difference you can make to a child and so quickly you see the progress.”

Could You Foster With Step by Step?

You do not need to be perfect to foster. You do not need to have all the answers. What matters most is being willing to provide stability, empathy, patience, and a safe place for a child to grow.

Whether you are single, working, have children of your own, or are simply wondering whether fostering could fit into your life, Step by Step are here to support you every step of the way.

If you are thinking about fostering and would like an informal conversation, our team would love to hear from you.

*Name changed to protect foster carer and child.