Supported Lodgings and Fostering Christmas Afternoon Tea, Basingstoke
3 December 2026
Host and Carer Stories
For Tony, becoming a Supported Lodgings host with Step by Step gave him something he’d been missing: purpose. After his wife died and his grandsons moved on, he found himself alone in a three-bedroom house. Today he shares that home, his evening meals and his love of photography and football with a young man starting out in life.
Tony has spent his whole working life in people-focused roles. He started out in the army, then spent 24 years as a nurse in the prison service, before going on to inspect care services for the Care Quality Commission and later working in adult social care.
When his daughter’s marriage ended, his two grandsons came to live with him, his wife and their dogs. It was a busy, noisy, full house.
Then, in a short space of time, it emptied. In 2025, Tony’s wife passed away, followed soon after by one of their dogs. His grandsons moved out one at a time to set up home with their girlfriends.
“I once lived in a vibrant house and all of a sudden I was alone.”
After a health scare, Tony found work driving young people with autism for a local transport company. He loved it. But earlier this year a fall broke his shoulder, and he could no longer pass the medical exam to drive the minibus. He was looking for a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
Tony was scrolling through Facebook when Step by Step popped up. He had already been thinking about renting out his spare rooms, but hosting a young person sounded far more rewarding.
“Sitting having a meal alone, or watching TV on my own wasn’t much fun.”
A Step by Step Placement Coordinator visited to talk him through what hosting involves, and Tony was approved as a host. His first match didn’t go ahead, but soon afterwards the young man who lives with him now came to visit with his Placement Coordinator. He said straight away that he’d like to move in. Even so, he was given time to go away and think it over.
““Every child deserves a chance. I’ll give anybody a chance.”
Ask Tony what being a host involves, and his answer is simple: “A bit of mentoring really.”
Every evening, the two of them sit down to a meal together and talk about their day. The first few weeks were about building trust. “We talked and exchanged life stories, which was lovely.” The young man often asks about Tony’s wife, and Tony loves that her memory is kept alive.
They’ve found plenty in common. Both love photography, and Tony has encouraged the young man to develop his talent. “He has an eye for photography.” He often heads out with Tony’s dog walker, and she now uses his photos on her website. Both love football too, so Tony introduced him to the local club his own grandsons once played for. Watching his social circle grow has been one of Tony’s proudest moments.
Tony enjoys teaching him things he’s never done before, and the young man is keen to learn. They share the chores, and the house has just one rule: “If we make a mess together, we clean it up together.”
The young man lives with anxiety, which felt overwhelming when he first arrived. Tony made sure he got the right help, and it’s far more manageable now. Tony’s approach on a hard day? “Calm down and breathe, let’s have a cup of tea and a chat.”
Tony is honest that hosting isn’t always easy, like the fact that teenagers aren’t the tidiest people in the world. But the company far outweighs the odd mess. After his fall, Tony felt vulnerable living alone. Now there’s someone in the house, and his family feel the difference too. They breathe a sigh of relief knowing he isn’t on his own.
“We fist bump every night and he thanks me all the time.”
Tony’s Placement Coordinator has been brilliant. “She phones every week, but she’s never overbearing.” He’s found the out-of-hours support just as good: there when he needed it, with sound, practical advice.
“Unfortunately, youngsters get a bad press these days,” says Tony. He admits he was nervous beforehand about who might move in. Now his view is clear: “Every child deserves a chance. I’ll give anybody a chance.”
Tony feels blessed to have had a life full of love and family, and he wants to help give others the opportunities he had.
“I hold the same values as Step by Step. Some children out there, for reasons out of their control, can’t live at home. You have to reach out to children in that situation, embrace them, give them hope.”
Without people willing to open their homes, he asks, who would these young people have?
His advice to anyone thinking about hosting? “Do it. Give somebody a chance. Having a youngster around makes you feel younger. You have a younger outlook on life.”
If you have a spare room and want to help a young person find their feet, find out more:
Join us in celebrating National Supported Lodgings Week and find out how you can make a difference. We're be out in the community, sharing content and inviting you to take on our Stacked Against You Challenge.
